Lessons I've Learned As A Twenty Something

Things Every Twenty Something Should Know

1. Never trim your own hair
Get it cut at regular intervals and remember that if you keeping dyeing your hair/bleaching it then your hair will be ruined. You don't want to be that girl with a really, really dodgy fringe.

2. Learn the difference between the people who care and the people who don't
This took me a while to realise. Just because people say they care doesn't mean they do. Actions speak louder than words - keep the ones who text to ask how your day was close. They want to know you in your mundane life, not just when something exciting is happening to you. Believe people when they're treating you like shit.

3. Learn to cook a good meal
Never underestimate the power of a homemade lasagne - trust me on this one.

4. Work hard & play hard

You've been at work since 7am, you've just done an 8 hour shift, treat yourself to some relaxing time. But also remember, in 10 years time you'll be happy that you went to work and then went for a night out with your favourite people.. memories will last a lifetime. Have a life of 'remember whens' rather than a life of 'what ifs'.

5. Use your words

If you're angry at someone - tell them. If you love someone - tell them. If you're indifferent to a situation - say that. People need to know where you stand & your words are the greatest tool you possess. People should know when they've hurt you, even if they didn't mean to. Along with this, know absolutely when to walk away from a situation. If you let someone hurt you once they'll do it again & again. Do not make that mistake.

6. Never underestimate the power of F.R.I.E.N.D.S when you've had a shit day
My first true best friends. If you didn't ship Ross & Rachel before you knew what shipping was you're lying.

7. Save some money

The ultimate sign of an adult - a rainy day fund. Just remember when you've paid rent/phone bill/food bill/insurance you're not left with much else. Save some money to enjoy yourself, or just save some money to treat yourself next time you're having a shit day.

8. Work to live not live to work. 
This is something a lot of my friends are trying to find the perfect balance with... & it is difficult. Money makes the world go round, as cliche as that sounds, but you also have to remember that when you're old and wrinkly you're gonna feel much better when you've got thousands of memories rather than thousands of pounds in the bank... Right now it may seem stupid to say but money isn't the be all & end all, in fact, life was better before I had to even think about money. At the end of the day your job is just that, a job, leave it at the front door when you come home.

9. Don't go to sleep angry 
Going to bed angry only means that you wake up angry & if you keep waking up angry then you eventually become bitter. Also, you don't know whats going to happen tomorrow, that person that you're mad at for not telling you that your butt looks big, well they could die tomorrow. My point is don't leave things unsaid, make sure you've said everything that needs saying before you place your head on that pillow.

10. Never let success get to your head, never let failure get to you heart
Never be smug about your successes, sure be proud and happy but remember that for every fifth go that something went your way there were four other times when you tried and failed. Remember how crap that felt and let it keep you humble.

11. Feed yourself properly
This is something I still struggle with now. When I'm struggling with keeping control I control the food I eat, when it feels like everything is going wrong I control my food intake because then it feels like there's some part of my life that I have a say over. I did this most when I was at university in my final year & everything was getting on top of me. But now, I try to eat as much as I can, and I try to remember to feed myself three meals a day. Your body is a temple, take care of it.

12. Pick your battles carefully
Learn when its worth having an argument, sometimes your words left unspoken speak the truth better than what you could have said. If it's a battle worth having you'll know for sure.

13. Fall in love even if you think it's wrong
There's nothing greater than that rush of falling in love, whether it lasts two weeks, two months, two years or forever. Love is incredible, it's the best feeling of all, and it leaves a lasting impression on you forever. Don't stop your heart doing what it feels.

14. Put up a fight for what you love.
Fight for them. That's what love is. Fight when the end seems impossible, fight and then see it through. If it doesn't work out the way you want, at least you'll know rather than wonder what could've happened if you'd held on just that little bit longer.

15. Never be ashamed if something didn't work out how you thought they would
Sometimes relationships just don't work out, sometimes you can be in love with someone but it just isn't enough. I've been there, it's so heartbreaking when it doesn't work; but it also frees you up for something better in the future. It's brave to put yourself out there, it's brave to fall in love, and when it doesn't work, well, you stand tall with your head held high. You fought and you lost, there's no shame in that.

16. Love your friends in their darkest days.
You're at this age where you're trying to figure out your life. Your job, your love life, your future, everything seems terrifying when it feels like nothing is going right. But remember your friends love you anyway; they love you on your darkest days, they love you when you've got no fight left in you, they love you when you lie on the cold ground and just fall apart, they love you when you're not very lovable. Make sure you return the favour.

17. Call your mom. 
Your mom has been there for you your entire life. When you've scraped your knee, when you had a star role in that god awful play, when you messed up, when you failed time & time again, when you cried your eyes out for that boy that just didn't love you. She was there for you. She carried you for nine whole months and will love you unconditionally. Call her and make sure she's okay.

18. Learn how to take care of yourself
You're gonna get sick and no-one is gonna be there to take are of you. Stock up on flu meds, paracetamol, vitamins and put yourself in bed until you feel better again.

19. Be brave
Make a decision. If you're unhappy in your job then be brave and move on. If a relationship no longer serves you, romantic or platonic, move on. Fortune favours the brave, my friend.

20. Learn when enough is enough
If you someone hurts you don't keep giving them the power to do so. You are the only one who can make the decision to walk away. Make that decision.

21. Write a letter
Even if you never send it. Just write it anyway. Bleed your heart out on the paper, write down every single thing you want to say to someone. Then if you don't send it put it away somewhere.
Better still, write a letter to yourself. Write down all the important things that are bothering you and seal it & promise yourself not to open it for five years.
Hide it and forget about it, when you open it again you'll be able to look back and remember how life wasn't really that bad but how great it is now.

22. Make a bucket list
It's never too early to start planning for someday. Write a list of all those amazing things you want to do and the amazing places you want to go. Have wonderful things to talk about when you're eighty.

22. Taylor Swift does get you through the day
"I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all," is the truest line I've heard in a song. There's a difference between being 'okay' and 'fine'. Okay is accepting a situation as it is, fine is finally moving on from a situation. There are some situations in life when moving on and acceptance is easy and some when it's not, and sometimes you have to just be okay with a situation and know that everything happens for a specific reason. Go listen to Taylor Swift and feel better about your life.

23. There's nothing wrong with being weak
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit that you're weak. Being weak means that you're human and that's okay. Cry your eyes out if you need to but pick yourself up, dust yourself off and know that you're gonna be okay.

24. Find a reason to laugh
Even if you're having a crappy day find something to make you howl. Laugh until your sides hurt - write it down and put it in a jar of good things to look at when you think life couldn't get any worse. Remind yourself of those times when you couldn't breathe because you were laughing that hard.

25. Remember, your twenties are all about learning & becoming yourself
Stay true to who you are, and just be happy. You're not meant to have it all figured out. So just have fun and see what happens.

Most importantly:

be honest, be brave, be smart, be kind, love, laugh, just be yourself... and enjoy the ride.